Translate This Page
Two years ago, this very day, Jimma had an appointment that she could not evade. The horrific enemy of death came to where she was and, robbed her of life. An enemy, that is seemingly never welcomed to where it shows up, made an unwelcomed visit. The agony of the occasion draped a dark silhouette of gloom and despair over the hearts of those loving Jimma. As the last breath of Jimma's soul escaped her beautiful little lips, reality of her not being with us on earth any longer took it's rightful but, unwanted place. A struggle to survive the atrocity of Jimma's quick and unexpected departure quickly gripped my mind. O' the terror of it all. What do we do now? Where do I go? To whom shall I yield myself to in order to gain any kind of understanding. This appeared to be a mirage of sorts. Disillulsioned? It was a horrible mishap that had gone awry. As I tried to understand death, the words of Jesus Christ made entrance through the portals of my mind. When death came to Him as He was there on the cross of Calvary, He uttered these words, "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" I, had only a glimpse of His agony. I too, had felt the sense of rejection. I felt I had been dealt a mountain that I did not ask for. One I did not want to climb!
Two years of trekking this mountain has had a great toll on my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Physically, the daily reminder of Jimma's departure, harvests agonizing and debilitating pains. Heartaches, never have been so excruciating as of those that are delivered daily.Some days more so than others. I seemed to have aged tremendously. I give in to the arthritis more easily than I did when Jimma was here. Sometimes, the thought of her being gone causes literal pain in my heart. I had a doctor check my blood approximately two months after Jimma departed, to be assured I wasn't dying of a broken heart. I was given this mountain to climb......The emotional pain comes at unexpected intervals. Perhaps while sitting in traffic or, driving on the freeway my mind will be invoked with the hurt and agony of Jimma's expiring that, I literally become unable to drive safely due to the enormous amount of tears streaming down my cheeks. This mountain that I climb has so many rocks in the pathway that sometimes I lose traction and spiral downward, only to reach out, snag a twig, regain composure and resume my climb. My spiritual life has taken on abnormalities. My anger level becomes quickly agitated and I unwillingly lose all sense of control at times. I'm quick to yell at other drivers because of their stupidity and uncaring mistakes they make. Why do they have to pull out in front of my vehicle travelling 55 mph when I approach them??? No other vehicle will be around and their lack of judgment stemming from their impatience will cause them to make me brake and lose it, by yelling idioms that aren't becoming of a pastor. Stupid, dummy, and idiot are just a few. Seems as if this mountain addresses the validity of my spiritual life. I quickly am reminded that, if I sin, He is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and, cleanse me from all unrigteousness. A mountain I don't want is mine!
As the days have broadened the span of Sept 19, 2009 until Sept. 19, 2011, I am still climbing this mountain that was given unto me, that I would never have chosen. I not only have continued climbing but, I have learned how to climb. With each step I realize I am that much closer to a reunion with my little angel. I find peace and contentment in knowing my Lord Jesus Christ is there with me. Step for step. He promised He would never leave me nor forsake but, would go with me all the way, even unto the end. He promised that nothing would be placed upon me greater than I could bear. I find Him nearer than when I first believed. As my climb is tested with emotional, physical or, spiritual digressions, I've learned to bear the test with the promise of seeing my little girl again and, that promise made true and sure by my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Jimma, daddy is climbing this mountain that was given unto him, with all the expectation of reaching the top. When I do, we'll be together again. I love you as I always have and miss your pure, undefiled love that asked of me only to be your daddy. I still pray for the peace of Jerusalem as we always did when ending our prayer session. I still look to see you on the bed beside me with your hands raised toward heaven, ending our prayers in "Jesus Name." I miss you baby girl and will be most happy when we, (you, mom, your siblings, cousins and myself) are together again. See ya my "big girl." I LOVE YOU!
Jimma's Daddy
